At this moment, I am feeling pretty alright. I am not in pain, and my mind is clear. I am able to sit upright, type a coherent sentence, and have lights and music on.
In about four and a half hours, this will not be so. I will probably be huddled in my big green chair, struck with the kind of pain that has caused people to shoot themselves just to make it stop.
In all seriousness.
In mid-summer, I suffered a relapse of Cluster Headaches, which are known among sufferers as "Suicide Headaches". Once a day, every day, some time between five thirty and seven fourty-five, for anywhere from fifteen minutes to five hours, I feel like I'm being stabbed in the face. Many sufferers say that a cluster headache feels like being stabbed in the eye with a hot poker, and I must agree. The best way I can think to describe it, other than that, is like a small explosion going off behind my right eye. To those who don't know what's going on, watching me get a headache can look like I'm having a very small seizure.
And the only medication that will let me be alive in the evenings is still illegal in the US.
I have by this time tried every pharmaceutical headache remedy on the market, to no avail. The only thing that I have found to treat my headaches is green, illegal, and makes it really hard to get and keep a job.
I really wish that we could pull our collective heads out of our collective asses for a moment. It would be nice to both be able to be alive and not have to worry about losing a job because traditional medication doesn't work...