I'm typing this supine, because every time I sit or stand, a portion of my spine grinds on another portion of my spine, and I get nauseous, dizzy, and headachy. At the same time, the longer I lie here, the more painful my spine becomes, and the harder it becomes to breath because of where the pain is. Today is one of the days when I really feel disabled.
Make no mistake: My headaches are crippling. If I am caught unawares when a headache hits, I hit the floor. A random passerby offered to call 911 for me yesterday when I screamed a little and dropped into a crouch in the middle of the sidewalk.
But it's been over a year since the headaches came back. I've learned coping techniques to beat back the pain -- sometimes literally -- and continue dealing with my day -- albeit slowly and painfully. I have stopped remembering that things that make you scream and fall down are, in fact, disabling.
The fact that my spine becomes a large sea-urchin as it slides under my shoulder blades is something that only happens every once in a while. The weather is changing, fall is abut to turn the corner and become crisp and golden. As such, the possible fracturing in my spine is letting me know once again that it is there and willing to help.
Today is going to take a while.